Vilho Isn’t Real, but This Bag of Oranges Is!!

Alright guys, hate to be the bearer of bad news – but the tree isn’t being taken away by some beautiful madman from Craigslist. I knew it was too good to be true. I’m still pretty upset about it, so instead of going on a rant about it, I will give it to you straight.

The rest of the conversation played out this way (if you haven’t kept up with the tree, read about its initial problems here and its what was once optimistic future here):

Oh, and for those of you who don’t know:

liar_finnish
good one, “vilho”

“Vilho Valehtelija” :
I was in your area the other day and took a walk around the hardees area. It took a while but I think I found your house. It was the one with the Christmas tree still up. I hope you don’t mind, but I wanted to take a closer look, so I knocked to see if anyone was home. No on answered so I went in and took a quick look. Its not the best looking tree but it’s the kind of look I’m trying to go for. I could be there later today. I’m looking forward to meeting you even more than getting a used tree!

  • Alright, at this point I get that this is a set up. I’m feeling let down, but not ready to give up. Feeling like a true Craigslist warrior, here. I just wish I had Norman Reedus with me….Not that that has to do with anything really. Like, at all.
Norman-Reedus_6
HI!

AMBER:
that is great news! glad you found it so easily. what time could you stop by? i should be home anytime after 7. Just want to let you know I may look a llittle weird looking because of my recent sex change, but do not hesitate to stop by for the sake of the tree. also, I am keeping the tree stand – it is my great-grandpappy’s. do you have all other necessities for taking care of this tree? it needs a lot of support at this time.

I really hope you can make it today, after tonight due to increased interest the tree will cost go up to 20 bucks, including a processing fee.

thank you.

  • The sex change switch-a-roo is a classic. I figured that whenever whoever this was stopped by, I could just have Justin Jones answer the door.

“Vilho Valehtelija” :
Sex change! That’s wonderful! Glad you made up your mind. And your genitals.

  • Gosh, whoever this is has a way with their words.

I don’t think I can make it tonight because that voice is back in my head. I try to stay at home when I hear it. And since the price of the tree goes up after tonight, I can’t afford it. I just felt that if I had a tree like that, I would really have my life on track, you know?Oh well. Thanks anyway. See you later amber.

  • WHAAAT!?! All that hard work and energy for NOTHING!?

“Vilho Valehtelija” :
April fool. Have a great day amber. Say hi to Justin and Andrew.

Love,

Christmas tree stalker/ boyfriend

  • ….really? :/

AMBER:
NOT HAPPY WITH YOU VILHO

You may know Vilho. His name is actually Eli Frankengerald James Pumpernickel Luoma. A local celebrity who dabbles in the sheep biz, he can be seen with a large smile while tuning skis at your local Mont Ripkey ski shop, or also with a large smile, at the local bars. We are most likely with him.

orangesfromeli
At least when he came by later that evening, he gave me a large bag of oranges. Almost too nice of him…
Gotta give him props for the clever name he used. And me some discredit for not even noticing. Sheesh, and I call myself an international spy. Gotta get it together, sister.

But what about that tree….? Oh yes, there is new home for it. And it is more majestic than ever. Swing by 206 5th street to take a looksy, or come back over the weekend to view the photos on my blog.

What do you think? How cruel was that of Eli to pretend to pick up that tree?? I won’t lie, my hopes were definitely up that it was for real. So young, so naive…
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